Can Online Therapy Help After Sexual Trauma? A Guide for Men in the UK

If you are a man aged 18 to 30 and you have experienced sexual harm, you may have thought about counselling but still have some doubts.

Perhaps you are wondering whether online therapy can really help with something so personal. Maybe you are unsure whether you will feel comfortable talking to someone through a screen, or whether I will really understand what you have been through.

These are questions I hear often, and they are completely understandable.

My approach at Regrow Counselling is designed specifically for men aged 18 to 30 who have experienced sexual violence. I provide specialist counselling online, so you can access support from wherever you are in the UK.

Most importantly, you do not have to come to me knowing exactly what you want to talk about or where therapy will take you.

Can online therapy really help with sexual trauma?

The research into online therapy and trauma is encouraging. Studies have found that online and video-based psychological therapies can help people experiencing difficulties following traumatic experiences. Research has also found that people can develop a strong therapeutic relationship with their therapist online.

For me, that relationship is at the heart of counselling.

You do not need to sit in a therapy room for me to listen to you properly, understand what you are experiencing and work alongside you.

My role is not to tell you how you should feel or expect you to explain everything that happened. I want to understand your experience and help you make sense of what is happening for you now.

“But wouldn't face-to-face therapy be better?”

It can be helpful for some people, but online counselling can work extremely well too.

In fact, you may find that being in your own environment makes starting therapy feel easier.

You can choose somewhere you feel comfortable and private. You do not have to travel to a clinic or sit in a waiting room. You can finish a session and have some time to yourself afterwards rather than having to travel home while processing what we have discussed.

For some men, especially when discussing sexual trauma, having that additional sense of control can be important.

Research comparing online and face-to-face therapy has also found that the therapeutic relationship and treatment outcomes can be similar in many circumstances.

So if the idea of sitting opposite a therapist in a room makes you uncomfortable, that does not mean counselling is not for you.

Online therapy may simply be a better way for you to begin.

“Will our conversations be confidential?”

I understand why confidentiality may be one of your biggest concerns.

When you are talking about sexual harm, you need to know that you can speak openly and that your privacy will be treated seriously.

Before you begin counselling with me, I will explain how online sessions work, how confidentiality is managed and what you can expect from the counselling process.

You can also ask me anything you want about privacy, technology or how sessions are arranged.

There is no such thing as a silly question when it comes to feeling safe enough to talk.

I also encourage you to choose a private place for our sessions where you feel comfortable speaking freely.

“What if I don't know what to say?”

You do not need to prepare a speech before our first session.

You do not need to tell me everything that happened.

And you certainly do not need to have the right words.

When you have kept something to yourself for a long time, it can be difficult to know where to begin. That is something we can work out together.

You might start by telling me how things are affecting you now.

Perhaps you are finding relationships difficult. Maybe intimacy has become complicated. You might struggle with confidence, trust, memories of what happened, or simply feel that something is holding you back.

You can tell me as much or as little as you feel comfortable with.

We go at your pace.

What does trauma-informed counselling with me involve?

My approach is centred around creating a space where you can talk openly without feeling judged, but also, I genuinely really care about connecting with you as a human before I connect with you through our therapist-client relationship lense.

Working with male survivors of sexual harm, I often see clients who've tried therapy before and felt they were seen as a survivor before they were seen as a person, and I hate that! Whilst of course, our relationship is professional, there is no reason as to why we can't connect human to human, as that is what we both are fundamentally.

I understand that men can have very different experiences of sexual harm. You may have been unsure whether what happened to you was serious enough to talk about. You may have blamed yourself. You may have tried to put it behind you and carry on with your life.

You may also have never told anyone before.

You do not need to justify your experience.

My aim is to help you understand what you are experiencing, develop ways of managing difficult thoughts and feelings, and gradually move towards feeling more in control of your life.

I work collaboratively with clients, rather than simply telling you what you should do.

Why I provide online counselling for male survivors

I created Regrow Counselling specifically to provide specialist online support for men aged 18 to 30 who have experienced sexual violence. Having volunteered as a counsellor in a sexual trauma charity, I saw the fantastic impact that the charity had.

I looked around at all the other sexual trauma services in the UK, and saw lots of fantastic support options for women, but nothing really seemed to have been made with men in mind.

And I wanted to change that.

I made Regrow Counselling to fill in a gap that many male survivors fall into, which has been leaving them with seemingly no choice but to cope in other ways, or work with therapists that don't really work with men in mind.

My service is available to men across the UK, making it possible to access specialist counselling without being limited by where you live.

Whether you are at university, working, living with family, renting with friends or simply prefer to receive therapy from your own space, online counselling can give you the flexibility to access support around your life.

You don't have to be completely ready

You may still be unsure about counselling.

That is OK.

You do not have to know exactly what you need before contacting me. You do not have to be ready to talk about everything. You do not even have to know whether counselling is right for you yet.

You can simply get in touch and ask me some questions.

I can explain how online counselling works, what you can expect from working with me and whether my service feels like the right fit for you.

There is no pressure to tell me your entire story in your first message - I don't actually need to know about the difficult details at all.

If you are a man aged 18 to 30 who has experienced sexual harm and you are looking for specialist online counselling in the UK, I am here to help.

You can find out more about my approach and online counselling through Regrow Counselling.

You do not have to deal with everything on your own.

You can start simply by getting in touch.